AMC’s Preacher Tv Series

PreacherWallEdit: It seems like Hollywood Reported may be made of stupid people. Every other news site I checked mentioned Cassidy and Tulip as two different people. Carry on and read my post anyway, it has delicious rage.

I couldn’t get much sleep last night. A friend of mine showed up at my doorstep at half past 3, I only got back to bed at 5 and also, I only managed to get some shut-eye at 1 AM in the first place. Why?

Because I was keeping myself awake in a cycle of inner ranting and rage. Right before going to sleep, I read that AMC acquired the rights to one of my favourite comic books ever, Garth Ennis’s Preacher.

SaintSome of you will probably say but, Meinos, isn’t that a good thing, then? Oh, believe me, I would love to see the Saint of Killers on a screen but I can’t be excited. I can only be angry. For three reasons.

Reason number 1 is because Preacher is one of the worst comics I can think of that could be green lighted for a TV Series adaptation, and fans of the original book know why. 70% percent of the stuff in Preacher will never be allowed to appear on TV.

The rest will either not translate well or be probably changed. That may be only me, but I just can’t see AMC allowing John Wayne to appear as a spiritual guide throughout the series. The reference was a bit dated in the nineties, figure now.

george_a_romeroReason number 2, if even there was a Network willing to do that, to properly stick to the source material as close as possible, that’s not AMC. You just have to look at their hit series The Walking Dead. A great comic book turned into what’s been called by John freaking Romero ‘a soap opera with occasional zombies’.

I’ve been reading the Walking Dead since issue one, and while I have to admit that it’s now dragging a little -I wish they’d just kill Rick off already and time skip to an adult Carl as the main character- it’s still one of the greatest horror comic books ever.

Andrea_the_walking_dead_comicA great comic book series that AMC walked all over. The show has some good idea, like some of the original characters, but the transposition of the main characters went to hell real quick. They sacrificed most of what made them what they are on the altar of politically correct and drama.

For every Darril Dixon, there’s an Andrea. This sweet young lady who grows into a badass but still loving and affection sniper-terminator has been turned into a woman in her forties with a nasty attitude because they couldn’t let a man in his sixties shag a woman in her twenties.

Also, there’s been a general dumbing down of the group. In the comic book, Rick picks up his axe on the first issue. In the television series they realise on the first episode that sounds attract zombies, but it took them two season to pick up some hand to hand weapons?! And oh my god, what they did to Carl!

preacher11They couldn’t put on screen senior on college student sex and a little kid killing an adult -killing his zombie is NOT the same thing- and then another kid after this other kid went insane and killed his twin brother. What makes you think they will put on screen things like:

the inbreeding of the bloodline of Jesus, god being a passive aggressive prissy little bitch who dies begging for his life, homophobia, racism, blasphemy, angels doing cocaine, a midget with a sexual addiction to red meat, and a man whose head comes to resemble a dick while his own dick gets abused over and over to the point that he has to exchange it for a rubber tube with a faucet.

And reason three, AMC is already starting out with two strikes! One is potential, but the other is quite real and pisses me the fuck off! I’ll read you directly from the source, an article on Hollywood Reporter:

“Based on Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon’s 1990s comic series from DC Comics imprint Vertigo, Preacher revolves around Rev. Jesse Custer, a badass Texas preacher who, after losing his faith, learns that God has left heaven and forsaken his duties. Jesse becomes the only one who is able to track God down and hold him responsible for his abdication. Tulip O’Hare, Jesse’s beer-guzzling vampire ex-girlfriend, accompanies him on his quest for answers.”

86634-121325-genesis… Okay. Let’s pass over the fact that Genesis, you know, that kind of important thing that appears in the very first issue of the comic book isn’t mentioned at all. That could be held back as a reveal for the pilot. Kind of pointless, seeing how the series started in 1995, but, yeah.

What is a first blatant punch in the spleen to the series, is ‘Tulip O’Hare, Jesse’s beer-guzzling vampire ex-girlfriend’. Huh, AMC? That character doesn’t fucking exist. Tulip O’Hare is a human woman, several years older than her boyfriend, who’s in no way addicted to anything other than oral sex from Jesse and a vegetarian to boot.

cassidyThe one who ‘guzzles beer’ and drugs and comes to the point of prostituting himself to feed his addictions is Cassidy. You know? The Irish vampire? The third main character of the series? The one who becomes Jesse’s best friend but also falls in love with Tulip? The one who makes sure the comic book has a happy ending? The character who you decided to cut off and fuse with Tulip because you wanted someone more marketable to both twitards and man-children of all ages?

Sure, why have a strong, independent woman with still a sensitive side for the love of her life and a vampire who’s a fucking real vampire and not a Vampire Diaries reject who’s got the best character arc in the whole comic book when you can have a vampire woman acting like a frat-boy?!

Guys, I have a thing for predicting when something is going to suck. I thought Man of Steel was going to be a bad movie the moment I heard that Noland and Snyder were involved in it, and I was fucking right! For once, I would so like to be wrong, but I’m not holding my breath!

I mean, come on! They haven’t even started production on this thing, and they already cut off fucking Cassidy! It can only go downhill, from here!

About Meinos Kaen

Meinos Kaen is the secret author identity of one Simone Simeone, born and raised in Italy since anno domini 1988. You’ll never find a person with a harder accent to pin to a precise geographical location, be it Italian or English he’s speaking. God help us all if he ever manages to actually learn Japanese.
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